Thursday May 1st - Clouds

      People tend to think that there is always something going on here and for the first couple weeks there was but it's still just school. I'm still just in rez (or halls, I keep getting made fun of for calling it rez) and I'm still looking for work and starving and trying to make friends and be personable. But I also still have crappy days, I still sometimes just want to stay in and sit on Facebook. I remember when Adge came over I used to think he must not be doing anything with his time in Aus because of how often he was online. I didn't realize until I got here that you still have that lull before bed when you're not ready to go to sleep but there's nothing to do. You still have fb open while you get ready for your day. If anything I feel like I'm hovering over it more often. The problem rests in the fact that everyone back home thinks your too buy to chat and everyone from Aus is still new to your life and you feel like your not at the casual chat stage yet. When really you want to connect with new people in various means and you just want to hear good news from home. What I miss most are goodnights. When I go to bed on a Tuesday night back home it's only first thin in the morning on Monday. The times very rarely line up to all for someone to tell you simply: sweet dreams, god bless. 


      Here is what I want to express though: I am not complaining. I am incredibly happy to be here and regardless of the enormous pull drawing me back to Canada I'm not leaving. This is the experience of a lifetime and I'm not giving it up for anything but there are still bad days. You can't run away from them. You still get the desire some days to stay indoors even if the outdoors are a strange new and magical place. And tomorrow you will go exploring and socializing and risk taking but today you will be a hermit. And that's okay.


      So know that if you see me online, I likely want to talk. Regardless if you are in the room next to me or the other side of the world I still want to hear to good news. And if I have a bad day, it's just a day and it will end and it doesn't mean I am not enjoying myself on the whole, I just may want a hug.

  

"I just want to touch people!"

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